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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28964757">blade &amp; fork</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/outsetisland/pseuds/outsetisland'>outsetisland</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, M/M, kei lo is a beta soy boy, kei lo is a fork, mai and kei lo break up, mai is an alpha, maiko breaks up, this is my fight song, this is very serious!!!!!!! be careful you may cry, this isnt an a/b/o fic, vaguely after smoke and shadow or whatver its called</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:55:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,610</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28964757</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/outsetisland/pseuds/outsetisland</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kei lo looked up into Zuko’s eyes, and for the first time, he saw something he’d never seen before. He saw something beautiful — he saw Zuko for who he was. </p><p>Zuko’s body relaxed, leaning into Kei lo’s, hugging him tightly. And his hand loosened, letting go of the letter he’d been holding  — the one with the scarlet ribbon. And the letter dropped. </p><p> </p><p>It drifted off into history.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kei Lo/Mai (Avatar), Kei Lo/Zuko (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Past Maiko - Relationship, past mailo lmao, zuko x kei lo, zulo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Dear Mai,</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoalone/gifts">twoalone</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>shoutout to snortingmaiko for being the biggest zulo shipper</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Piercing. Everything about her had been absolutely piercing. One look, one breath, one touch — it was a needle stabbing through your heart. She was an angel risen from the depths of a furious rage, and enlaced among it all was an undying passion that caressed me — it lured me closer and closer towards her. I don’t quite know what’s wrong with me. Deep down I understand how things are, and yet I’m still chasing after the unachievable.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> Mai. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’s like a spring day when the sun burrows back behind the clouds and a breeze whispers in the air. Some choose to stay inside on these days, closing their windows and letting flicks of rain patter against the glass. Others, like myself, venture out. Our clothes soak up the tears and our arms reach out, consoling, begging — promising to always be there. Telling the day, the beautiful spring day, that they miss them. And that they’re here now. And that they’ll never leave. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I promise that I’m here now. I promise that I’ll never leave. I promise you, Mai. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>—————————————</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Today wasn’t a spring day. The wind wasn’t breathing the slow and content breaths it did, and the sky wasn’t crying. There were no mounds of clouds and the sun didn’t peak high above them. Instead, anger enraged the sky. A brash, clawing, poisonous coal dripped in the heavens and seeped down into the souls of those below. A lingering fear and sadness only grew greater with the lack of light.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> Most people frowned, asking the storm to go away so that the sun could shine again. Zuko, though, didn’t even care to acknowledge the weather. Sun or rain, warm or cold, each day seemed the same to him. Like an endless cycle of feeling nothing — even the moments that had light were lightless, because Mai wasn’t there. He wanted her back, and he was going to do anything to make it happen. And so, he held the letter in his hand, tying a scarlet ribbon around it, carefully though — to make sure it wouldn’t crease the paper. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He had spent hours writing, well, not literally writing. He had spent hours staring at the paper, trying to find the right words. But in a way, he couldn’t find any. Or at least, he couldn’t write them out. He could write out and say anything but those words.</p>
<p>Sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Mai. </p>
<p>They were perfect. They were echoing in his mind, screeching even. But when he put his hand to the page to write them out, they came out all wrong. So wrong. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dear Mai,</p>
<p>I miss you. I miss you so much. When I told you that day in the catacombs that I was happy for you — that I was glad you were happy, I was telling the truth. I am. I was. But a part of me was also sad, enraged that so easily you just moved on. And I couldn’t do the same. It’s funny, I’m the ruler of an entire nation; I’m rich and powerful. And yet, I’m so alone. I’m so isolated. No one understands me — no saw me for who I am without regard to how I look or what my title is. But Mai, you did. You saw past it all, everything, and you saw the scarred, broken boy I was. And somehow, for some reason, you loved me. You showed me love. And then you left me. You left me to be all alone when I needed you most. I was so angry and hurt for a while. But I’ve realized that I feel these emotions because I love you. I still do. And I miss you, so much. Mai, please come back to me. Show me what love feels like again. Show me what feeling is like again. </p>
<p>Love,<br/>
Zuko</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As Zuko approached the steps to Mai’s door, the letter clutched in his hands, his eyes drifted up the stone and landed on a figure. Someone was sitting on the entry, peering downwards. Kei lo. It was Kei lo. Zuko felt his body tense up and he clenched his fists, heat rising within him. But then he stopped in his steps, confused. Kei lo was crying. Like crying mounds of tears. A part of Zuko felt relieved — whatever had gone down with Kei lo and Mai hadn’t been good. But another part of Zuko, the loving and kind part, felt bad. Another part of Zuko wanted to reach out a hand and help Kei lo get back on his feet, to tell him it’d be okay. That he wasn’t alone. Kind of what Mai did with him. When Zuko was at his worst, Mai was there — and she reached out her hand, pulling him to comfort. She was there for him, she told him he wasn’t alone. And he wasn’t alone — not when she was there. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey,” Zuko said, walking up the steps to where Kei lo shrouded crying.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kei lo looked up, a scowl painting into his face. “Get the fuck away from me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Zuko frowned, “Hey, I’m not trying to start anything,” he paused for a moment, trying to find the right words to say, “Are you okay?” </p>
<p>“No. Just go away. Please. Just leave me alone,” Kei lo said, his words coming out just barely above a whisper. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Something in Zuko knew better than to just leave him here like this. He sat down next to Kei lo, taking a deep breath. Zuko felt nervous; he didn’t really know what he was doing. But nonetheless, he peered his head back, staring up at the sky. He summoned his uncle’s wisdom, trying to find a voice of reason within the chaos in his head. He was trying to find the right words to say but all the words he knew suddenly felt jumbled. Zuko took another deep breath, thinking back to what his uncle would say. As much as he hated to admit it, his uncle was usually right. “Life is like a box of chocolates,” Zuko recalls. What bullshit. What if you're allergic to chocolate? So you can’t enjoy the flavors of life just because youre fucking allergic? What if you die because you don't have a goddamn epi pen and you eat the chocolates? </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I thought Mai was different. I thought that unlike everyone else, she saw me as something. But I guess not,” Kei lo said, his voice was quiet and some of his words trembled a bit.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Zuko remained quiet, thinking. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mai was different. I mean, she is different. But I guess, she just doesn’t love me. That’s why. For a little while, I had thought that maybe she did. Or at least that maybe she could — I thought she could love me. I’m an idiot for thinking that. Why the hell would someone like her want someone like me,” Kei lo continued, his tears had started to dry and his face was scrunched up, a sadness lingering.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Zuko listened, thinking, “Yeah. She is different. She’s special too.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kei lo nodded, staying quiet. So Zuko continued, “I think part of Mai loved you. I think she cared about you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kei lo scoffed, turning his head away, “No she didn’t. We both know she didn’t, so don’t even bother lying. She loves you. She always fucking loved you. Everything was always about you.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Zuko didn’t say anything. Part of him blushed at the idea that Mai loved him more. That Mai would choose him over Kei lo. But then Zuko really thought about it and realized how Kei lo must feel. And in a way, a different, odd, vague and twisted way, Zuko understood how Kei lo<br/>
felt. How it felt to be neglected and not wanted, to not be enough for the person you love. That’s how he felt with his father. Sure, it was different but still, he could kind of understand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Zuko opened his mouth, to tell Kei lo it wasn't true, but he stopped himself. Kei lo didn’t need to hear that. It wouldn’t make a difference. It wasn’t what Kei lo needed. Kei lo needed someone to be there for him. To reach out a hand and show him comfort.</p>
<p>So Zuko looked up, and he reached out his hand towards Kei lo’s, grasping it gently.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> “I’m here for you. You’re not alone.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>And Kei lo started to cry. He turned and huddled into Zuko’s shoulder, and Zuko embraced him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s going to be okay. I’m here for you,” Zuko consoled.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kei lo looked up into Zuko’s eyes, and for the first time, he saw something he’d never seen before. He saw something beautiful — he saw Zuko for who he was. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Zuko’s body relaxed, leaning into Kei lo’s, hugging him tightly. And his hand loosened, letting go of the letter he’d been holding  — the one with the scarlet ribbon. And the letter dropped. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It drifted off into history.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. burnt toast</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Zuko had returned from his banishment, there had been so many conflicting emotions flushing through him. He felt sad and scared in some ways, but the only emotions he seemed to show at the time had been anger. He had been a raging corpse, engulfed in flames. He burned anyone and everyone who dared to look at him, lighted with an undying anger. It was anger fueled from sharp fragments of pain and trauma. Zuko had walked the depths of every tragedy and now he was burnt, tarred, mutated, and utterly unrecognizable. He tried, during that time, to recall the boy he had been before — before his banishment. The boy who was so lively and happy. Naive, but happy. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Once Zuko had returned from his banishment, Mai welcomed him back with open arms. Upon seeing her, it was as if the boy in his past had emerged from the ashes. The boy who’d crushed on the quiet girl who was his sister’s best friend. The boy who’d learned to use a knife solely to impress Mai. (Only for her to become much more skilled than him.) The boy who’d accepted Mai’s reserved but loyal friendship. When he returned, he opened her eyes to see Mai, engulfed in the glow of precious childhood memories. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The same Mai, who always had his back. The one who believed in him all those years, even when her fidelity was at stake. Even when she was challenged to choose the Fire Nation over her love for Zuko.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She made it seem as if all was right in the world— as long as they were together. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>But it wasn’t. The cruel and devastating truth was that all the luxuries of the Fire Nation were artificial. It was fake, the way people treated him with respect. Hiding behind the thin, superficial veil of luxury was the incineration of the Fire Nation. Despite how much he’d longed for his father's acceptance, he couldn’t stay. He knew about the true colors of the Nation, and how it affected incredible numbers of singular lives. As the flame of imperialism burned throughout numerous nations, Zuko couldn’t ignore his own growing in his gut. It quickly consumed him, and this burning was nearly as bad as the scorching heat on his flesh from his banishment if not worse. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>During his banishment, the burn on his face had crawled over his skin. The memory of the scalding heat on his face spread to his skin, each nerve alight with the need to redeem himself. Fury burned through bone and flesh, his skin perpetually raw and sore. Zuko scorched the ground he stood on, the flames at his feet fueling his desire to chase the avatar. Everyone could see he was on fire, enraged by his unfair destiny. Despite the flames, he continued. He’d do it, for his father. For the Fire Nation.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>—————————————</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>But that was when he was still banished. This was different. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>One night, he stood at the balcony of his lavish room in the Fire Nation capital with Mai. Each corner and silk thread was adorned with the colors of the Fire Nation, reminding him of where he was. Mai helped to get his mind off it, but the atmosphere was continuously suffocating. Even the polished mahogany wood railing of the balcony branded his fingertips. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Distantly, he heard the music of the Fire Nation festivals, most likely in honor of his return. The sparkly noise of bells and tambourines rang in his head, adding to his probably made-up migraine. He hated it. All of it. The superficialness, the fake smiles, the people who had been betting on his death now congratulating him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Under the glow of the moon, Mai had told him she was happy. She had touched his hand in a comforting manner, looked at him with her warm golden-brown eyes. She was glad that the people she cared about were safe, and under the protection of the fire nation. She was satisfied that Zuko earned his place under Fire Lord Ozai. So why wasn’t he? </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her touch became scalding and he shifted, uncomfortable under her gaze. This isn’t right.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Zuko closed his eyes that night, he saw flames.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. double take</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>oooh u wanna kiss him so bad</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zuko hadn’t seen him coming. After the incident at Mai’s house, he’d somehow gotten closer to Kei Lo. It seemed as if out of nowhere, Kei Lo had inched his way into his life. His weird jokes and laughable innocence had become oddly endearing, and Zuko found himself thinking about him too often to be normal. Kei Lo was predictable, but Zuko was enjoying the stability for once in his life. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>They spoke often, on long walks or had conversations when they were coincidentally on the same path. Zuko was finally in a peaceful moment of his life, after being tossed into political drama and war from an early age. Even after the war, his position as Fire Lord caused an unnecessary amount of inner turmoil and anger.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But now, life was starting to assume a comfortable pace. Each day felt like a sunny one, and the summer was similar to a deep breath after holding his breath for hours. He visited Kei Lo after meetings, strolling through the lush gardens of the Fire Nation, or sipping tea on the grass next to his favorite pond full of turtle ducks. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Today they rested next to the pond, both sitting comfortably on the soft grass. The breeze was a soft background of white noise. It was silent, save for the occasional chirp of turtle ducks or the brush of pondside grass. The maids who’d brought their tea had looked at Zuko on the grass warily, but stayed silent. It reminded him of Mai, and how they’d spent countless dates with grand picnics and silk under their feet. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kei Lo looked at Zuko, quietly peering at him while taking a sip of his tea. He flinched dramatically at the heat, wincing at his scalded tongue. Zuko tried not to laugh.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kei Lo cleared his throat, moving to cross his legs and hold the hot tea in his lap. He closed his eyes, leaning back into the tree they were resting under, looking comfortable under the shade. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re thinking about her, aren’t you?” Kei Lo observed, opening his eyes. It was more of a statement than anything. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Zuko looked away and sighed, relaxing a little. Kei Lo tended to carry their conversations, which he was thankful for. Besides beginning to spend time together, something else new was that they talked a lot. Especially about Mai. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah.” Zuko admitted sheepishly. Still enjoying the shade pleasantly, Kei Lo nodded understandingly. “I mean, it has been a while since we broke up, but it’s not as if I can just forget her…” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>That was partly true. Although the beginning weeks had been particularly rough, Mai was beginning to become a vague but beautiful memory filled with hazy minds and chilly mornings.  It was much better than the blade she’d been the first few weeks, stabbing him over and over with each reminder of her. Mai’s cloud-filled spring season had faded, and into a warm, sun-basking summer. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kei Lo nodded slowly this time, digesting the words. He broke eye contact first, turning to face the lake that stretched across a long distance, peppered with cute turtle ducks. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>If someone had told him a year ago that he’d be here with Zuko today, drinking tea pleasantly, simply enjoying the comfortable silence, he would’ve laughed for sure. He was still learning to be okay with relaxing, and being present in the moment. The past year he’d spent trying to figure something out, or looking for a direction in his life. He’d spent too much time moping, crying over the past. All he saw now was a straight path ahead, and he felt tentative about following it. It seemed too good to be true. But he wanted to be happy. No more games. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Well, now that he was being all reflective and deep, he may as well told Zuko. Kei Lo took a drink from his now cooled tea, and concentrated on a turtle duck squawking at another. Zuko’s favorite animal. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I think I’m getting over Mai.” He said, still focused on the turtle duck. It felt good to finally say out loud. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Zuko hummed in understanding, probably staring holes into his profile. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The branches bloomed with dainty flowers and wide leaves, shadowing Kei Lo’s face from the nearly too perfect weather. Zuko didn’t want to stare, but from where Kei Lo sat across from him, light peeking through the semi-transparent leaves onto his peaceful face, he glowed. He seemed so natural sitting there, next to him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I spent so much time chasing after her, thinking she was just some girl. Then I thought she wasn’t. Just some girl, that is.” Kei Lo sighed, and played with the teacup in his hands, enjoying the rough surface of the cup made from stone. “I’m starting to realize I didn’t know her at all. And I knew that. But she wasn’t some elusive— elusive enigma, was she?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Zuko nodded compliantly. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kei Lo continued, quieter, in an even more considerate tone. “She was doing what she could for the people she actually cared about.” A pause. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I guess I never really loved her for her, did I?” He practically whispered.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>—————————————</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Somehow in only a matter of time, Zuko’s relationship with Kei Lo had once again transformed. Zuko felt a newfound buzz under his skin whenever he bumped into him, something akin to electricity flowing through Zuko’s veins pleasantly. Despite having known him for less time compared to Mai, he felt a strong and oddly loyal connection to him. Even compared to his other friends whom he met frequently for diplomatic meetings, he found himself enjoying Kei Lo’s presence the most.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Zuko sat at the formal dining table with Sokka, Aang, Katara, Toph, Suki, and Kei Lo while drifting into thought. Tonight’s dinner was a normally occurring event, and they’d originally begun as professional circumstances. Recently, Aang had been finding more excuses to gather and have dinner together, which Zuko didn’t find himself minding. In the warm atmosphere of friends and good food, Zuko let himself rest. Everyone sat at their respective seats around the elegant table, with Aang and Zuko at the heads. Beside himself, Kei Lo had taken Mai’s old seat (because Zuko didn’t want to make Mai’s absence awkward, and for no other reason).</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He hadn’t seen Mai for a while, and shockingly, he hadn’t thought of her either. Staring down at the plate of black sesame seed bread at the dinner table, he thought of her hair buns. The fist-sized buns laid on the pristine china innocently, looking back at him. He recalled how just months earlier, he’d clenched his hand down harshly on a fork due to the thought of Mai, stricken with grief and anger at something so pitiful as bread. Memories of playing with her dark hair as she laughed lightheartedly at his lack of skill had flushed through him; causing another painfully sharp twist in his chest. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Despite the memory of Mai, when he had looked down at the destroyed metal, it twistedly reminded him of Kei Lo. But as told by Kei Lo himself various times before, Zuko wasn’t the best at metaphors. He knew there was something to say there about Mai, how she’d been a polished and deadly blade, and Kei Lo, an earnest fork.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was able to laugh at the memory now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Speaking of Kei Lo… Zuko looked at him, at where he sat next to the head of the table. He was speaking comfortably with the rest of his friends under the warm lighting of the dining room, easily fitting right into the place he sat next to Zuko. As Sokka began telling his recent brilliant adventure, Zuko watched as Kei Lo began to laugh easily, a sound he learned to discern from the rest of the group. It was the one where he also ran a hand through his hair by habit, leaving it a mussed up mess. Now probably staring at Kei Lo grinning like an excited puppy, he resisted the urge to reach out and fix his hair. As Kei Lo noticed him watching, he turned to give him a small smile. Zuko turned away quickly, shifting his focus onto grabbing a bun in front of him. He began ripping it up violently, making a futile attempt to eat away his embarrassment. (There was also a failing attempt to ignore the warm feeling creeping in his chest.) He continued to chew on the bun, quietly observing the conversation in front of him and contributing his two cents whenever prompted.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>KeiKo is a better ship name ngl</p></blockquote></div></div>
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